PRESENCE BY AMY CUDDY - AN STORY WHICH SUPPOSED TO BE A BOOK REVIEW

 

Hi Friends!

Greetings of the day!

                                     "A book review in the form of a story"

It’s 5:00 AM on a serene Monday morning, and the gentle rain outside in Haridwar creates a soothing melody. I’m savoring my ginger-cardamom tea, the warmth of the cup a comfort in my hands. Having been up since 4:00 AM, I find myself in a tranquil solitude while the rest of the house is still enveloped in their sweetest sleep.

In my cozy study room, the serene notes of Raag Yaman Kalyan are floating through the air, blending perfectly with the rhythmic patter of the  dancing raindrops. An aromatic diffuser releases the rich, calming scent of sandalwood, filling the space with a sense of peace. The ambiance creates a perfect cocoon of serenity, allowing me to immerse myself completely in the world of my own thoughts.

In this quiet, fragrant haven, with music and nature playing together, I find inspiration and solace. The early morning stillness, enhanced by the soothing sounds and scents, deepens my connection to the story I am about to share with you. It is in this magical moment that I invite you to join me on this literary journey.

As I sit here in this tranquil setting, I find myself connected with the profound theme of  the book "Presence" by Amy Cuddy. The serenity of the morning reflects the calm yet powerful narrative of the book, which teaches that-

"To connect with others, we must first be truly connected to ourselves."

Let us delve into the book with a personal experience related to its key concepts.

Recently, I was at HRDC Haridwar to evaluate the learnings of newly inducted trainees from the book "Presence" and to conduct a session for ‘inspiring  the habit of book reading. I enjoyed the interaction quite a lot and explored different personalities and perspectives.

After few days, I ended up meeting a teenaged boy, an introvert to the extent of having self-detrimental thought and difficulty in expressing himself to others.

Here is where the book came into play. As I met the boy, within the first two or three minutes, it was evident that my young friend had a contracted body posture—his hands were joined and clenched, and the fingers of his legs twisted inward. I could sense this quickly, thanks to learnings from the book itself and the session with young inspiring minds, the Executive Trainees.

This learning  helped our conversation to flow smoothly, as I used the book's ideas to let our connect blossom charmingly. Here are a few quotes from the book that resonate well with the entire interaction:

“When we close ourselves off, we’re not just closing ourselves off to other people, we’re closing ourselves off from ourselves and impeding ourselves. When you open up, you allow yourself to be who you are.”

“Expanding your body physiologically prepares you to be present; it overrides your instinct to fight or flee, allowing you to be grounded, open, and engaged.”

“When you are present and available, people have a desire to offer you their authentic self. All you have to do is ask. No one keeps a secret. No one. And they might be resistant initially to telling you something, but eventually they’ll give you their whole life story”.

The book takes us on a journey from ancient Vedic concepts of yoga and mindfulness to Carl Jung’s modern philosophy of individualization, aiming to help us "be attuned to and able to express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential." In essence, it’s about bringing your best self to every situation.

Presence is all about being in the moment and truly connecting with others and self as well. In Chapter 1, the author notes, 

“When our body language is confident and open, other people respond in the same way, unconsciously reinforcing not only their perception of us but also our perception of ourselves.” 

This chapter explains how being fully present makes others feel our genuine involvement.

The book  highlights the influence of confidence, comfort level, and passionate enthusiasm on relationships, leadership, and our outcomes. It also discusses how body language affects our state of mind. Here are a few quotes from the book as well:

“Our bodies change our minds, and our minds can change our behaviour, and our behaviour can change our outcomes, even tiny tweaks can lead to big changes.”

Chapter 2 focuses on believing in and owning your story, showing how authenticity boosts confidence.

“We convince by our presence, and to convince others we need to convince ourselves.”

Through stories and studies, it explains how being present inspires others and discusses how much we should prepare for public speaking. The author quotes,

“Preparation is obviously important, but at some point, you must stop preparing content and start preparing mind-set. You have to shift from what you’ll say to how you’ll say it.”

Chapter 3, titled "Stop Preaching, Start Listening," shares powerful stories about how listening without judgment help us connect better. It emphasizes that to be a respected leader, one must be available, liked, and trustworthy, quoting,

“Trust is always comes into play prior to competence.”

“True confidence stems from real love and leads to long-term commitment to growth. False confidence comes from desperate passion and leads to dysfunctional relationships, disappointment, and frustration.”

Chapter 4, "I Don’t Deserve to be Here," explores “Imposter Syndrome” and its effects. Many high achievers feel like frauds, doubting their accomplishments and attributing success to luck rather than ability.

From Chapter 5 onwards, the author dives deeper into these themes, discussing power through well-researched stories and scientific studies. Chapters 6 to 10 focus on body language and how embodying confidence can impact our lives. The book quotes,

“Expanding your body language – through posture, movement, and speech – makes you feel more confident and powerful, less anxious and self-absorbed, and generally more positive.”

The final chapter, "Fake it Until You Become It," shares touching stories of people who transformed their lives using the author’s power-posing approach from her 2012 TED talk. The author quotes,

“Don’t fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it.”

However, I feel I can’t fully capture the book’s essence in this review and would strongly recommend reading it yourself.

Your honest feedback is most welcome.